The Girl Code

   Just when you think you know it all...or at least a great deal of it, there comes that moment that clearly cements the fact that you don’t know nearly as much as you think you do. I don’t go around thinking I know it all, although I know a few people that would dispute that. I don’t even purport to know a great deal as I try to always live the philosophy of keeping my cup empty. Even with that, it seems there is never a shortage of moments, that very much cement for me the fact that I don’t know nearly as much as I would like to know...or as much as other people think, I think, I do.

   A great example of this is my recent education in “The Girl Code.” Now, I knew there was some sort of unspoken set of rules or perhaps even telepathic communication between all females...but I never thought they organized themselves to such a degree as to have an actual code by which they all try to follow. As if that wasn’t shocking enough, I was being educated in the code by my thirteen year old daughter that seems to know far more than I’m probably comfortable with. I blame the usual suspects...video games and rock music, although I’m sure Facebook is really the culprit, working in tandem with adolescence. 

   So there I was, getting the four-one-one on why a cute guy has  to be denied being liked since it will go to his head and further enhance his self knowledge of being cute. Especially if he exhibits confidence...grounds for being ignored! 

   I always thought jealousy was an emotional response to the perception or reality of being replaced by another. I never imagined it was a loaded weapon, one of many, in the female arsenal under the code. If you want him to come to you...push him away. Yup, this certainly makes more sense than simply being inviting. Sarcasm aside, the code may not be logical, but it exists as the bane of male interaction.

   Dating your friends ex-boyfriend is a serious code violation...punishable by hurt feelings and possible loss of friendship. This makes perfect sense also...I mean, he is an “ex”...not wanted and no longer a viable contender, so of course, maintain a distance of at least 300 feet! My humor was lost on my daughter...and probably won’t make me popular here either, and after it was revealed that feelings almost always linger, I started to see the light (uh-oh).

   Now...two girls like the same guy. In the mind of the guy (this is a complicated subject and will be discusses in a later post), this is most certainly viewed as a win/win situation. However, we are not dealing with the mind of a guy, we’re dealing with the Girl Code...and there can only be one outcome for the guy in this scenario: LOSE! Why...? The code states that you cannot go out with a guy that your friend likes...so if both girl friends happen to like the same guy, and both follow the code...he will remain as he was found...by himself. Maybe now is a good time to note that the code also calls for extreme sneakiness in certain cases...especially in breaking it...or, perhaps I’ve said too much.

   The Girl Code is vast and there is so much more that I’m not revealing (under threat of harm) since it would make this post into a fourteen volume encyclopedia instead of a quick glance into a world we (guys) have no business being in. To summarize the spirit of the code in terms a male can understand...”don’t hurt my feelings as I complicate simple situations by indirectly approaching the idea of a solution, before I reject the notion that such a solution actually exists.”

   The code is extensive and complicated...and although I’m still learning it, I haven’t fully ruled out my theory of female telepathic communication and empathy. After all...there doesn’t seem to be any limit to the female psyche.