There is a saying that there is nothing new under the sun. It can be argued, I suppose, but the sentiment is documented in the careful observation of most things under the sun. The fact that people continue to behave as....well, people, only bolsters this position. Take for example, the practice by many to bury and hold onto frustration, anger, sadness and a plethora of other emotions, instead of the often recommended course of action of “getting it off your chest.”
Many times people hold onto much negative emotions...letting them fester and mutate instead of bringing this darkness into the light. It’s something many do and a behavior I didn’t consider to write about until I recently heard a story of such a case that had been festering...for many years. Imagine being friends with someone...close friends, for many years, and one day an inquiry into some curious behavior leads to a torrential outpouring of negative emotions against you. For you it would come as something out of the blue, from left field, off the wall. For your friend, it’s been festering for years...yes, years...and today was the day it all came to a head.
I heard this story and it gave me pause. I began to think to myself if I have been harboring any bad feelings toward anyone and if so, what was preventing me from either addressing the issue...or letting those negative emotions go. I also began an to determine if this was indeed a modus operandi of people in general...and found that although it depends on the individual and their life philosophy, many will cling to their perceptions and emotions attached to them for a long time unless otherwise resolved. Granted...my study was as far from scientific as asking a bunch of people can be, but it did give some insight into this subject matter.
It is also interesting to note that although a subject can be resolved in the way of all the issues clearing the air...being discussed and understood with everyone informed on all thoughts on the matter, this is no guarantee that bridges will be built. Many people, once bridges are burned, let them smolder even after the facts surrounding the flames have been doused. Is it human to hold grudges? Certainly. Is it healthy? Probably not. In the opening case to this post...certainly not. If you are friends with someone, part of being a friend and having a true friendship is full disclosure of those things that polarize emotions and cause tension. If this isn’t happening...then perhaps a reevaluation is called for.
Apart from the situations between friends, everyone gets to a point, at some time...where they have a surplus of frustration, anxiety, anger, or just have a moment when the weight of the world just seems crushing. Let it out. I can’t say everyone has someone to talk to...but everyone can find someone to talk to. The pool starts with family and friends, then extends to people you know...and then to people you don’t know. I mean really...if you can’t afford a professional and have no family of friends, there are still free resources available for you to let it out. Even a good yell or scream is a step in the right direction.
We see news stories all the time of people that perform heinous crimes, and although this is not, by any means, the proper venue to express unresolved emotional problems, I think it noteworthy that most of them have issues that were either unknown prior, or not acknowledged when presented. I’m not absolving any one of abhorrent behavior...I’m just saying that the philosophy of “let it out” is a good one and a positive facilitator against these acts of tragedy.
Time for some positive self reflection. Are you harboring feelings that are a constant buzz, or are mounting internal pressure within you? Let it out. Are you angry at someone for something they did (or didn’t do) and they don’t even know it? Let it out. Are positive feelings for someone festering...and in doing so, having a negative effect on you? Let it out.Let it all out.
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