Thursday, March 15, 2012
The Good Side of Dating
Dating: Two actors coming together for one night to put on a show...for each other.
Ah...the dating game. We’ve all played it and some of us are still playing it. I’ve always wondered why it was called a game since it can be such a serious endeavor. Looking for a mate is a mixed bag at best. Although dating isn’t always about looking for a mate. Often it’s simply about having a good time with great company. The real question is...is the person you’re dating really the person they present themselves to be?
The answer, of course, is...complicated. We all are who we say we are, until we show we aren’t. Everyone, well...almost everyone, endeavors to show the best of themselves when it comes to dating. Meeting new people can be fun and nerve wracking at the same time so nervousness and the desire to leave a good impression work to suppress the parts of ourselves we show to others we are most comfortable with. How often have you dated the most articulate and well spoken person...only to find out that they really cuss like a sailor behind closed doors?
This speaks directly to what I’m talking about. It’s not necessarily a bad thing...just a thing we all need to acknowledge as a part of human nature, or perhaps a product of the society we live in. How much would dating change if we all showed our true selves instead of the self seeking to impress? As interesting as dating is...it would probably be a lot more shocking, but truth often has that effect when it’s delivered raw and unedited.
The thought can be entertaining if you take it to an extreme. Imagine your date having no inhibition to passing gas while driving you to the intended destination. I’m chuckling as I write this...but really, who would even continue the date such a person after such a heinous attack on their olfactory senses? Now travel twenty years into the future to a married couple where passing gas in the car is still nasty, but after twenty years of marriage, children and the tribulations of life in general...it isn’t quite the deal-breaker it was on the first date.
As funny as that may be (or not), there is a more serious side to everything I’m talking about. The “good side” shown in dating can sometimes mask some really serious personality disorders. Depending on how long this act is played out, it can have some serious ramifications when a few dates turns into years and a family, by which time the gradual revealing of the truth has gone unnoticed as you wake up one day next to a total stranger when compared to those first few dates.
There is something to be said...in any case, for always being and showing who you really are, and letting the cards fall as they will. Dating might not be as much fun this way, but it would certainly be more productive than the show we often put on for each other. It might even leave the stage and instead of the previous definition, go a little something like this:
Dating: two people presenting themselves honestly to each other for one night...and either having a good time, or learning a valuable lesson.
All this...and I haven’t even touched on the internet dating game...smh. Stay tuned....