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Friday, November 25, 2011

Boundaries of Love...Blameless Desires

  I have come to realize that if you live long enough, you will become dated. There is just no way to avoid it as you will inevitably feel nostalgic for a certain period in your life that others simply can’t relate to because of age. There are ideas, however, that are everlasting regardless of age. They last because they are rooted in the behavior of humanity...so as long as we remain human, they will remain with us. Howard Jones made a song in 1985 that exposed a core part of humanity...as evidenced by the continuing struggle with the subject.
 
                                You can look at the menu, but you just can't eat 
You can feel the cushion, but you can't have a seat 
You can dip your foot in the pool, but you can't have a swim 
You can feel the punishment, but you can't commit the sin 
And you want her, and she wants you. We want everyone 
And you want her and she wants you 
No one, no one, no one ever is to blame 
You can build a mansion, but you just can't live in it 
You're the fastest runner but you're not allowed to win 
Some break the rules, and live to count the cost 
The insecurity is the thing that won't get lost 
And you want her, and she wants you. We want everyone 
And you want her, and she wants you 
No one, no one, no one ever is to blame 
You can see the summit but you can't reach it 
Its the last piece of the puzzle but you just can't make it fit 
Doctor says you're cured but you still feel the pain 
Aspirations in the clouds but your hopes go down the drain 
And you want her, and she wants you. We want everyone 
And you want her, and she wants you 
No one, no one, no one ever is to blame 
No one ever is to blame 
No one ever is to blame
   It has been said that the song is about unfulfilled attractions...”the frustration of experiencing attraction but being unable to act on it, for whatever reason.” Anyone that listens to the song will take from it their own idea of what it means...but there seems to be one dominating interpretation that is worthy of discussion: A love or desire that cannot be realized. The question is why...? And the answers are many...marriage, racism, disease,...even impotence.
   Whatever the reason is for why the desire or love remains unfulfilled, the fact remains that feelings of desire will happen...to everyone. The study of human relationships and sexual desires is ongoing with the only fact of it being that it happens to all of us, naturally...and thus there is nobody to blame.
   Could the song simply be about sex...? Is it really necessary to assign a deeper meaning of love...? Both can go together, but can also exist separately. The line “We want everyone” is what led me down this particular rabbit hole since, at least from the male perspective, sex is a paramount desire more frequented than love that could be applied to “everyone.”

  In truth, this song raises more questions than it answers and they aren’t new ones...they are very old. I wrote this post, as something that departs from whatever my “norm” is because recently this issue keeps being raised...so I will raise it. Love and relationships can be polarizing subjects like religion and politics...but no matter how much we avoid them, they have to be discussed at some point. So...let the discussion begin.



   Should we be victims of our desires...suppressing our internal callings...? Or masters of them...embracing that which we want most...? Simple questions with complicated answers that we all must ponder as we navigate the vast ocean of life.

   I’ve added an alternate live video version of the song...simply because I’m a huge fan of the piano. Enjoy.

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